


Dude, We're What?!

by skargasm



Series: The Five Times Peter tried to date Stiles [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Hale Fire (Teen Wolf), M/M, Oblivious Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24839455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: Or the five times Stiles didn't realise Peter was trying to date him and the one time he did!Another 5+1 but much shorter and completely free of angst. Well, pretty much!
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: The Five Times Peter tried to date Stiles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796776
Comments: 25
Kudos: 463





	1. Dude, We're What?!

**One**

Stiles stomped into the room, yanking off his suit jacket as he did so. Peter looked up from his seat in the corner but said nothing. 

“Why does everything have to be so damned complicated?” None of the other occupants of the room said anything, instead focussing on the movie on the screen. Scott gave a heavy sigh, then gave Stiles the attention he was obviously waiting for.

“What’s complicated, Stiles?”

“Dating! Why can’t someone just turn up with pizza, beer and a movie? Or even better – TALK to each other! I mean, perfect date right there – am I right? But no, instead it’s dressing up and pretending to be something you’re not and – it’s frustrating! You don’t know my pain, buddy,” he said as he threw himself down onto Scott who gave an 'oof' sound and pushed him off. “You’re practically married and I’m terminally single!” 

In his corner of the room, Peter smiled.

* * *

“PETER! You lifesaver! And dude, you brought pizza and beer? How did you know?” Stiles stepped backwards to allow Peter into the house, already investigating the contents of the pizza box. “Oh yes, my favourite! Come on through – I have so many questions for you!” 

There passed a fantastic evening where Stiles quizzed Peter about mermaids, nymphs and sirens and what the difference was (if any), whilst shovelling pizza in his mouth and guzzling beer. It was after one in the morning when he finally told Peter “I have **got** to get some sleep! You have been an absolute God-send! I didn’t even realise anyone was listening when I said how worried I was about my essay!” 

He shut the door on Peter, heading towards his living room to clean up before heading to bed. The guy was a lifesaver, really he was.

* * *

Outside Stiles’ door, Peter stood in shock, still not sure what had gone wrong.

He made the mistake of asking Derek, who laughed so hard he transformed to his beta form in the middle of the kitchen.

“What’s so funny?”

“He didn’t realise it was a date? I mean, even you have to admit it’s funny af Uncle Peter! You – Mr Suave – pizza and beer – then shown the door!” All of this was said between guffaws of laughter and Peter was on the verge of seeing if it was possible to drown a werewolf in the sink when Cora and Lydia came in. “Okay, look, you have to be a little less subtle. Watch this.”

Derek walked over to the girls who were examining the contents of the fridge.

“Hey, Lydia?”

“Yes?”

“You, me, drink – how about it?” Lydia looked Derek up and down, then raised a perfectly coiffed strawberry blonde eyebrow. 

“Fine – but make it somewhere nice – and wear something other than black.” She returned to her appraisal of the fridge and Derek walked back to Peter.

“See?” Peter had never hated his nephew more.

* * *

**Two**

“Dude, I have been wanting to come here for ages!” Stiles looked around the bar with appreciation. He was a little underdressed – if he had known Peter was dragging him out to somewhere this high class, he would have at least put on clean jeans. 

“Well, I’m glad to bring you somewhere new!”

“Yeah, it’s cool. Ooh, look, they have pretzels!” Stiles dragged the bowl towards him and tipped some into his hand. “Want some?”

“No thank you. Stiles – “

“Did I tell you about my essay? I got an A, dude – you saved my life, or maybe just my GPA! I mean, you save my life on the regular so – “

“Stiles – “

“Did you know Derek and Lydia went out on a date? I mean, who the hell saw that coming? Cora is spitting feathers – she’s been trying to make a move on Lydia for months and Derek just swoops in!”

“Is that what you would want? Someone to swoop in with romance and flowers and the like?”

“Who me? Who the hell is gonna do that for me?” Stiles looked around the bar before exclaiming loudly “DANNY! Dude – I didn’t know you were coming out tonight! Oh – hey Jackson!” 

The two young men grabbed chairs and joined them, and somehow there were even more people Stiles knew there and it turned into a bit of a free for all. Overall, it was a fun evening, with Jackson’s acerbic commentary and Danny’s good-natured banter, although Peter was kinda quiet. Shame and he felt a little bad because he’d forgotten to ask Peter what he had wanted to talk to Stiles about.

* * *

“You want to get Stiles, alone?”

“Yes.”

“But – why?”

“Scott – don’t be stupider than you look.”

“Hey! I’m not sure what that meant but I’m pretty sure that it wasn’t nice!” Peter dropped his head onto the table, wondering what his life had come to. “Okay, well you know he’s a huge Marvel fan, right? You could take him to the movies maybe?”

“The movies?”

“Yeah – you know, big screen, popcorn, moving pictures on the screen.”

“Don’t be sarcastic or I’ll tell Talia who broke that vase in the study.”

“I _was_ gonna tell you that there’s a showing this weekend – they’re showing all of the Iron Man movies one after the other. Stiles lives for that shit!”

“And no one else is going?”

“Nah! Iron Man’s way old now.”

“Excellent.”

* * *

**Three**

“Oh now, this is the life! And look, we have room to spread out because hardly anyone wants to see these any more! This is awesome, Peter, thanks!”

“You’re welcome! Are you going to share that popcorn or do I have to fight you for it?” 

“Have at it – I didn’t know they did a bucket of popcorn this size!” Unfortunately, before Tony Stark managed to cobble together his first Iron Man suit, Stiles realised that something he had eaten didn’t agree with him. 

“Stiles – are you okay? You’ve gone incredibly pale!”

“Peter – I think I’m gonna be sick!”

“What?” Not wanting to waste time, Stiles bolted from his seat and headed for the bathroom. Even over the sounds of his stomach turning itself inside-out, Stiles could hear Peter coming to check on him. 

“Dude, I am **so** sorry! I think it must have been the mystery meat in the cafeteria at college – I was warned but I thought it couldn’t be that bad!”

“Stiles – is there anything I can do for you?”

“Nah – let me just rinse out my mouth.” Walking tiredly out of the cubicle, Stiles walked to the sinks and rinsed his face in cold water, swilling some around his mouth at the same time. He felt like shit, and then he realised that Peter had left the movie. “Oh, no, look – if you wanna go in and watch the films, it’s cool. I’m sorry, Peter – I think I’m gonna have to go home.”

“That’s fine – let me take you.”

“You sure? I thought you wanted to see these because you hadn’t got the chance before?” Stiles allowed himself to be steered out of the bathroom and cinema complex, falling gratefully into Peter’s car. 

“I can always watch them online.”

“True. I guess that was why it was so empty – most people would just stream it.” Allowing his head to fall back onto the leather headrest, Stiles drifted off, only coming back to life when Peter pulled up outside his apartment. “Thanks, dude. Don’t worry about seeing me up – I think I’m just gonna head to bed. Sorry, Peter.” Patting the man on the arm, Stiles climbed wearily out of the vehicle and headed towards his apartment. He needed his bathroom, some privacy and then bed – that was the last time he ate at the cafeteria.

* * *

“Erica, it really isn’t that funny!”

“No, you’re absolutely right! Poor Stiles – fancy going on a date and getting the – “

“Yes, well.” Peter waited patiently for Erica to stop giggling. Perhaps asking her was a mistake?

“Okay, okay, I’ve stopped now. Right – so you want to take Batman somewhere special?”

“I would like to stand out from the yahoos he normally dates, so yes.”

“Why not just – you know – do what you normally do with the bimbos and twinks you date? Whisk him off to dinner, get him pissed, then violate him in your huge condo that you refuse to let anyone else see?”

“Erica! That is not how I operate! And the condo is my private space – away from all of you cubs! Why Talia insists on having a pack of people barely out of their teens is beyond me!”

“Ah, but if it wasn’t for that pack, you would never have met Stiles!”

“Good point, and possibly the only reason I haven’t killed any of you. So?”

“Oh fine – there’s a comic book convention next weekend. He’d like that – hundreds of comics, your credit card, surrounded by geeks – perfect date!” 

“Thank you.”

“Peter – “

“Yes?”

“You’re not just messing with him, are you? I mean, I laugh and joke, but – Stiles hasn’t had much luck in the love department.”

“No, Erica, I’m not just messing with him.”

“Cool. Go get him, creeper wolf!” She slapped him heartily on the shoulder as she left the room and Peter waited until she had closed the door before rubbing where she had hit him. She really had no idea of her strength.

* * *

**Four**

“Oh my God! Can you believe the turnout?” Peter allowed Stiles to drag him around the hall, a little bemused. When Erica had said there was a comic book convention, she had failed to mention that there might be cos-play going on. It was fascinating to see the sheer amount of effort people had put into their costumes – Peter was pretty sure that in some circumstances, the costumes were better than the originals. Stiles was like a kid in a candy shop, racing from place to place, showing Peter comics new and old and chattering away. 

“Stiles – just how much coffee did you have this morning?”

“None – you know it sends me to sleep! Ooh, Peter, look at this!” Stiles grabbed him by the hand, dragging him over to yet another display of comics that Peter barely recognised. “Limited Edition Captain America – can you believe that price?”

He couldn’t. He could appreciate that many of these things might be collector’s items but he’d never been into comics when he was younger so the prices were a little – _jarring_. But the covetous way Stiles was looking at this particular item gave Peter an idea. When Stiles’ magpie eyes took him elsewhere, Peter stepped forward and spoke to the vendor. 

By the time he caught up with Stiles, he was in a spirited discussion with a young couple about where exactly the Avengers verse was going now that phase one was over and done with, and Peter was able to watch him unobserved. It was always a pleasure to watch Stiles when he was animated – one of the things that attracted Peter to the younger man was how he seemed to absorb information at a rapid rate and come to what could only be called _interesting_ conclusions. The afternoon felt like it had been a massive success, especially with the way Stiles seemed more than comfortable grabbing Peter by the hand and dragging him from exhibit to exhibit. 

So, of course, that’s when everything went wrong. 

“You know, I wouldn’t have thought someone of your generation would be as into the new comics.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I mean, I tried to talk to my Dad about comics a few times but he goes on about the Beano and stuff like that. Do you think it’s a generational thing?”

“A – generational thing?”

“Yeah – you know! Gen-Z, Millennials, that kind of thing.” Peter walked around in a daze, wondering if Stiles actually thought of him as being the same age as his father. It hadn’t occurred to him until now – age wasn’t something werewolves were particularly bothered by as long as everyone was over the age of consent. But – if Stiles thought of him as the same generation as his father, then he certainly wouldn’t be viewing Peter as a romantic interest. 

“Stiles – “

“Yeah?”

“Just how old do you think I am?”

“I dunno – early thirties?” Peter nodded absently. “Why?”

“Just – curious.”

“I mean, you’re not old enough to actually be my Dad – “

“Thank you!”

“But you could fit into the whole sugar daddy thing, no problem.” Stiles stopped what he was doing and turned to Peter, looking him up and down. “I don’t understand why you’re single, to be honest. I mean – nothing personal, but you’re kinda fine-looking what with the neck and the smirk and the goatee and the – everything.”

“Oh really?” Peter couldn’t stop himself from smirking, the chemo-signals coming from Stiles giving a clear indication of his thoughts.

“Yeah, I mean – if you wanted me to hook you up – oh, is that what today is? Cos you didn’t have to work this hard – “ Stiles rummaged in his pocket and dragged out his cell. “Look, Danny asked me to give you his number that night we were at that fancy bar. I – forgot – but yeah, here you go.”

“Stiles, I don’t – “

“Yeah, I can imagine you don’t need a nerd like me to get numbers for you but – damn, I forgot I was meant to be meeting my Dad at the station. Thanks for bringing me, Peter, it was – fun. You have a good time with Danny.” Before Peter could get a word out, Stiles had disappeared into the crowd. 

And somehow, for the next two weeks, he managed to completely avoid Peter including sending his apologies to Pack meetings. It was – frustrating.

* * *


	2. Or 5 times Stiles didn't realise Peter was trying to date him!

Isaac actually looked like he was in pain.

“You’re really asking _me_?”

“Well, you’re the same age, he’s your pack-mate, you spend a lot of time with Scott who is Stiles’ friend. Ergo, I assumed that you might have an idea of an activity that he would enjoy.”

“I mean – I’m not hugely comfortable with the idea of thinking of Stilinski and sex. I mean – it’s Stiles.” Isaac tilted his head, picturing something in his head that made him smile.

“What?”

“No – nothing. It’s just not as gross an image as I’d originally thought.” Peter couldn’t prevent himself from growling slightly.

“Isaac – “

“Okay, okay – no actively thinking of Stiles and sex! Um – well, I know that time we went to Jungle, Stiles had a great time.”

“Jungle?”

“Yeah – club at the edge of town?”

“I know what Jungle is – I just didn’t think Stiles was into dancing.”

“Oh yeah – big into the dancing. And surprisingly, kinda good at it. You’d think he’d be all arms and legs, but put Stilinski in the middle of a crowd and play some music and he’s actually kinda – um – “

“Isaac – “

“Yeah, so you put the idea into my head!! Okay, okay, I can take a hint! Jungle, definitely! And hey, bring everyone and sorta work your magic on him – that should work!”

* * *

**Five**  
Watching Peter dance was going to give him a heart attack. Getting everyone to agree to go to Jungle was incredibly easy – much easier than normal. But ever since the idea of Danny and Peter getting together had come up, Stiles had been feeling antsy. He couldn’t even explain why – he had got over his initial crush on Danny aeons ago. 

But watching Danny putting the moves on Peter on the dance-floor made him feel slightly homicidal. He couldn’t figure out why though – Derek’s uncle was the midway point between the younger members of the Pack and their alpha, Talia. As a trainee Emissary, Stiles often felt out of things – he wasn’t a wolf but he wasn’t human. He spent a lot of time with Peter by dint of him being the Left Hand of the Pack, thereby being jointly responsible for negotiations, treaty discussions and general pack liaison. He had learned a lot from Peter in a short space of time, and the other man was always generous with this time. Point in fact, when he assisted Stiles in getting that A for his essay. 

But lately, things had been kinda stilted. It always felt like Peter was watching him and Stiles didn’t know what to do about it. From anyone else, he would have considered all of the attention to be a sign of some interest, but what would a sophisticated man like Peter Hale want with Stiles Stilinski? Stiles was a neophyte, learning everything from scratch whilst Peter was full of knowledge. It made no sense. With everyone else either loved up or happily sowing their wild oats, he and Peter found themselves together a lot of the time, and Stiles appreciated the fact that they could talk for hours and not run out of conversation but – sometimes he wished that he was just a little bit older, a little more sophisticated. 

“He’s hot, isn’t he?” Stiles jumped as Erica spoke just over his shoulder, turning fully towards her on his stool. She looked amazing in a short, shimmery dress thing and Boyd seemed to agree since they had been attached to the hip from the time they got to the Den. 

“Who?”

“Oh please! Like I can’t see you drooling all over Mr Hale and Hearty over there.”

“Are you talking about Derek or – “

“Come on, Stiles! Spill! Everyone wants to know how your relationship is going but Peter’s been really quiet about it and you **never** mention it! If I was hitting that, I’d be crowing about it!”

“Erica – just assuming that you haven’t been dosed up with some weird kind of wolfs-bane or that I haven’t been smacked over the head and kidnapped – again – could you possibly explain what you mean in words that are short in syllable form?”

“What do you – oh my God! I thought Derek was joking when he said that you were that oblivious!”

“Any minute now, I’m going to practice my latest offensive spell on your ass if you don’t speak up **right the fuck now**!”

“You and Peter – you’re really not dating?”

“When – what – why would – “

“He’s asked nearly the whole pack for advice on where to take you for dates! He came over with pizza and beer right after you said it was your idea of a perfect date; the Iron Man marathon where you got – an upset stomach! The comic convention? I mean, even tonight was all about – “ She stopped speaking and waved her hand in front of Stiles’ face. “Batman – did I break you? Are you okay? Are you still in there?”

“He’s been – all the – I thought – “

“Sentences would be brilliant here, Stiles!”

“But why didn’t he just say something?”

“Well, he has been really obvious! I mean, he always sits next to you at pack meetings, although you’ve been missing those lately. And he serves you at dinner – gets you food and shit, same as Boyd does for me. And – “

“But I didn’t KNOW! I thought he sat next to me because we share notes! And at dinner – we just like the same foods so he passes them to me before he takes any – and – “

“Oh, Stiles!” Erica looked pitying and Stiles dropped his head into his hands. 

“I’ll just go and ask him – “ Then he realised why Erica looked pitying. Following her gaze, he watched as Peter left the dance-floor with Danny, heading towards the bathrooms in the rear of the building. The bathrooms that were notorious for all sorts of shenanigans. “Oh.”

“Stiles – maybe – “

“I’ll catch up with you guys later. I – I’m just gonna head home.”

* * *

”Hey Dad.”

“Hey, kiddo. Were we meant to be seeing each other today?”

“Nah – I just wondered whether you wanted to go get breakfast or something.” The Sheriff stepped back and Stiles automatically followed him into his childhood home. Living in his own place was nice enough, but coming here always felt like coming home. The only other place he felt this comfortable was when he was at the Den in the library with Peter – and there were those thoughts again. He had promised himself that he wasn’t going to think about the other man – if he had missed his chance and Peter was off with Danny, then that was that. 

“I have waffle mix if that’ll do?”

“Yeah – actually that would be nice.” He fell into the familiar routine of cooking with his Dad, humming along with the radio that was playing in the background. 

“So, should I ask what brings you here this early on a Sunday morning? I thought you guys went out dancing last night?”

“You make it sound like we went to a tea-dance or something! We went to Jungle – “

“Oh, please tell me you weren’t part of that fracas!”

“What fracas? I left early – what did I miss?”

“That bone-head, Ethan! Got it into his head that someone was moving in on his boyfriend! Although sometimes wolves are weird if you ask me – it’s all about scent! Anyway, a couple of deputies got dragged down there to sort things out.”

“Ethan’s boyfriend – ?” The hair at the base of Stiles’ neck was standing on end. 

“Danny Mahealani. All innocent apparently – he  
was getting some advice on werewolf mating of all things and Ethan misunderstood it for something else. The other guy was a real gent about it – didn’t press charges or anything.”

“Any ideas who the other guy was?” The Sheriff looked up at Stiles’ pointed interest. 

“Something you want to tell me?” Stiles leapt to his feet, the need to find out if his thoughts were correct pressing on him.

“No – nope, nothing at all! Actually, Dad, can we have a rain-check on breakfast? Maybe you could invite Melissa over to help you eat all of this! Love you!”

* * *

Peter sighed and placed the sealed packet at the door to Stiles’ apartment. The scent of a werewolf should keep anyone from taking it, and to be honest he just wanted the thing gone. Having tried his best to help Danny out the previous evening and getting punched in the face for it, he had decided that maybe romance was not in his future. One night stands had sufficed up until now and would be fine again. He just needed to spend some time away from temptation. Maybe he could convince Talia to let him spend some time in New York – 

“Oh my God, I thought I was going to miss you!”

“Stiles! Is everything alright? You’re out of breath – is someone chasing you?”

“No! I just – I went to the Den to look for you and Talia told me you were coming here so I kinda raced to get here and – wow, I really am out of shape!”

“Are you okay? You disappeared last night without really speaking to anyone and – “

“Were they dates? Was Erica right?”

“What?”

“The pizza and beer? Iron Man? The comic convention – were they all attempts to woo me?” Peter froze, not quite sure what he should say. 

“I – it all depends on – “

“Come on, Peter – I thought you were all suave and sophisticated and – and _experienced_! Sweep me off my feet dammit!”

“Well excuse me if I wanted informed consent – “ Peter considered things for a moment, then raised a finger. “You said – “

“I said I didn’t think anyone would _want_ to, not that I didn’t want it! So – yeah, if we’ve been dating all of this time – maybe you should have filled me in on the fact?”

Stymied, Peter tried to think of something to say. When he could come up with nothing, he turned and picked up the packet he had left at Stiles’ doorstep. 

“Stiles – please accept this as an official declaration of interest.” He watched with barely restrained impatience as Stiles frowned down at the package before ripping it apart in his haste to open it, his mouth falling open in shock.

“Holy shit! This is the Limited Edition Captain America – “

“Well, yes. If I’m proclaiming my interest officially, I needed to be sure you know I am serious.”

“God-damned, Peter, I’m about to **date** you so hard!”

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wishing all the Dads out there a fabulous father's day, and sending hugs and kisses to those who are missing their Dads. 
> 
> Daddy, I love and miss you x
> 
> * * *


End file.
